When I wrote last, I mentioned some books ("Resources for Changing Lives" series) that I was reading and I thought at the time might have a lot of profit in them, but I was planning to "move on" after perusing them to other books. I think that when I'm thinking that, it's probably because I'm hesitant to commit to their theories and they're not quite answering the questions I have, and I will probably end up rejecting them (didn't take too long). And now, after I moved on, I think that I am in a place where a lot of life's questions are figured out for me. Maybe when you avoid a trap, you get rewarded!
But these people are very hurtful, so I write hoping to make some sense of it.
(1) As I heard about this theory, the first thing that bothered me was that I kept hearing the word "sin" a lot. I mean a lot. The books and people associated with the Biblical Counseling Movement use that word more than I've heard put together in all my life. That gave me a bad feeling. They seemed afraid of not taking responsibility but they all seemed very negative. They see all of a human being's problems as being rooted in sin. And then they condemn you for it! It might be technically true that all problems are rooted in sin, (but not always yours!) they see the person as totally responsible for everything bad they are experiencing and especially emphasize the "laws and rules" this person is assumedly breaking. They prepare the counselor to ready themselves when this poor guy or girl comes in to talk with them to "find" the way the person is doing something wrong, so they can "fix" it. It comes across like a 3-point sermon: (1) You're bad (2) God is good (3) Stop it.
(2) So the second thing they are doing is blaming the person for all of their problems. They think this might aid the person who is under-responsible, except that it only motivates them to stop (by sheer will power) being a "bad" person, which doesn't work!! and leaves them labeled a guilty condemned person, it adds more to the over-responsible person and weighs them down further so they are even more stuck, and doesn't clear the person who is innocent. This is exactly why these people are known for sending a girl home to "repent" of being raped. It fits into their idea that problems are rooted in the individual's sins, and they get confused enough to act with such a lack of compassion! Shouldn't they question their methods??!!! They see themselves as distinct from "secular counseling" in that they don't discuss family upbringing because they want the individual to be solely responsible. But throwing out mounds of legitimate research and understanding goes against what people have observed and also religion. In fact, God asks all people to "honor" their parents. However, most people have a faulty understanding of that. But from what I comprehend, it simply means to "give
full weight" to all parental influence in your life for good or bad whatever percentage that may be and accept it at as it is. The benefits are spectacular allowing the person to truly leave the past behind, become your own person, and be healthy. Many people are afraid of discovering something bad because they are afraid they will be perceived as disloyal or simply because they don't want to face something bad and feel sadness. But mature people embrace reality. But the Biblical Counseling Movement doesn't acknowledge that children can be severely injured in their dependency and vulnerability and have genuine confusions that stem from things they didn't understand or were never informed or weren't allowed to do or know. This is also an original innocence. They see everything as this person's fault and don't know what to do with being "sinned against". This is why people in this movement can't hear the cries of abused people and lack empathy for them. David Powlison (leader of this movement) in his book Seeing with New Eyes includes a chapter entitled "Why me? Comfort from Psalm 10". He intended it to bring comfort to victims of domestic violence. As the chapter title implies, he encourages them to know that God is with them in their assumed "pity party".
(3) They believe very "simply" that the solution to sin (which they think is everything that person is doing) is to repent. This is the trite answer to all the problems someone might have. It's also very discouraging and burdensome. It's a lot like "pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps". They're not interested in why someone has problems (since they think that the answer is in the person's sin). They don't care if the person was deceived or lied to while vulnerable, or is protecting hope and desire, or if the person is missing out on information that they never heard, they just simply want to condemn the person for not being perfect. And they think stopping the behavior will solve everything. They don't care why the person is doing what they are doing (this sin).
(4) Astounding, but they deny needs. In fact, it's the Biblical Counseling Movement's "claim to fame" to deny Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs or anyone else who believes that people are endowed with needs other than biological. It prevents them from feeling guilty for needing, and it helps them feel less "selfish" by focusing on others and not getting demanding. But they see demands as selfish rather than desperate pleas for love. They don't love people.
(5) This is the thing that bothers me the most, but they literally scoff at ideas of self-esteem. They really emphasize how people are all sinners. This is hard for me to share, but chatting briefly with someone who was clearly from this group, I was reluctant to share anything, but finally shared how I had just realized how I should treat myself like how I treat the little children I relate to sometimes so lovingly and gently. She replied: "You're trash". I paused, thinking, that she would eventually follow that up with something about how she was only joking. She did say something about how God loved me anyways. But I clearly remembered thinking how she must view this about herself. It was an awful attack to endure anyway. It makes me very reluctant to share in "bible studies" or anywhere else. But this is really true in all the books and people I've met within this movement. They see themselves as refuse but that God loves them in spite of it. They take pride in a very lowly view of themselves. I realized what it was (very ugly): they take pride in their self-hatred. And they want others to hate themselves too. I don't think God wants us to be prideful in our self-hatred, he wants us to take joy in our standing with him. Self understanding affects every part of a person's life, making them healthy and growing, so they won't be able to help people get better with this point of view.
(6) The people in the movement and the philosophy are extremely authoritarian. Example: They really look up to Jay Adams, who they see as the "father" of this movement. He writes in his book How to Help People Change ( and I quote from chapter 5, page 47), "the Counselor is the representative of God (he italicized). "He ministers as one who represents God, as one who speaks for Him, as one who knows the mind of the Spirit and who will minister out of the Book in which that mind is found. … The man of (from) God is to be heard inasmuch as he bears authority from God." Next paragraph: "Counselors may be wrong, but they are to be heard, and they are to be obeyed when they make their case from Scripture rightly interpreted and applied (see Heb. 13:7)". He notes that the counselor should not be authoritarian: page 48, "Counselors must not confuse biblically directed how-to with biblically derived how-to. To treat the latter with the same authority as the former is to become an authoritarian rather than a biblical authority. In the long run, it will minimize the counselor's true authority as well". I hear these assertions from the Biblical Counseling Movement a lot. "We want to focus on the heart, not outward behavior", "We should avoid authoritarianism", but you wouldn't have to say it, if it wasn't so. This is authoritarianism because they want you to be dependent on them, on their interpretations, on their perceptions, and give it "biblical" authority and "representation of God" and moral superiority implied with your lowly "obedience".
In summary, not everything is a sin. Focusing on condemnation rather than acceptance will get you nowhere, you will never grow. Blaming yourself for other people's bad behavior will make you stuck. Not asking why won't solve the problem at its root and keep it from coming back. (There are other reasons than just that person's sins). Not recognizing your God given needs (more than biological) will make you burn-out, or miss out, or become bitter, etc. Not knowing who you are under God and feeling good about that will affect every area of your life for the worse. Not thinking for yourself (instead of "obeying" them) won't solve the problem in the long-term.
Not only is this theory so very cruel, it doesn't work.
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